《你在煩惱什麼呢?》你的煩惱,都是你奮力求生最好的證明
2021年12月3日
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《你在煩惱什麼呢?》你的煩惱,都是你奮力求生最好的證明

Written 誠品香港

無論是年輕的你,還是曾經年輕的你,總會有些時候覺得迷失,為成長感到焦慮,每天都在努力找人生的方向。我們同樣也會遇上種種關於課業、人際關係、家庭、自我及未來的煩惱:明明履歷已經很好,生活忙碌又充實,為什麼還是感到焦慮?明明很努力去融入群體,為什麼還是一個邊緣人?明明很想當爸媽的好孩子,為什麼又會覺得好累?
 
這些煩惱,都不是少年維特的無病呻吟,而是奮力求生最好的證明。
 
作者擁有多年校園諮商經驗,用輕鬆柔和的筆調加上心理學的角度去分析,梳理你的思緒,帶你看清煩惱的種種面貌,以理性和感性的「陪伴與傾聽」陪你修復自我。此書亦有很多不同的自我修復、與他人互動的練習,一些引導你思考的問題、一些心靈對話,透過閱讀希望能帶領你尋回人生的方向,學習成為最真實的自己。
 

作者簡介:李家雯(海蒂)諮商心理
 
相信阿德勒說的:「要理解一個人就要用他的眼睛看、耳朵聽,用他的心去感受」。比起被稱為「助人工作者」,覺得自己更像個案的生命陪伴者。在個案允許下,聆聽他的故事,共度一段生命旅程。從事大專校園輔導工作15年,更加相信每個受困的人只是暫時迷了路,而心理諮商是陪伴個案撥開籠罩多時的烏雲,催化蘊藏於內在的寶貴資源與勇氣,成為一生的力量。
 

#課業
 

念書成了全部,人生竟成廢物?
 
此書的第一章,先為大家解答課業上的煩惱,小時候常常聽到長輩說:「好好讀書,一定要考上好大學,畢業後就會找到一份好工作,然後人生就輕鬆多了。」
 
乖乖地跟著做,考上大學,但卻發現無論你的成績是好或差、履歷有多麼亮麗,也會覺得人生好難,其實念書真的是一切嗎?
 

延畢或休學,我該如何面對廢物人生?
 

—「當你的生活遇到瓶頸時,你知道該怎麼做嗎?
繼續向前游就對了!」
——《海底總動員》
 
聽到「延遲畢業或休學」,很多人都會覺得這是不務正業,但其實每個人都用自己的方式在追求目標,又怎麼能用相同的時間表去束縛呢?有些時候,並不是不想去努力,而是需要給自己一個喘息的空間,思考的機會,好好去想一想接下來的路該怎麼走。或者有些機會是錯過了就不會再遇到,所以好好找緊機會,想做的就勇往直前吧!
 

假裝沒事,但就是快樂不起來,我到底怎麼了
 

—「什麼時候我們開始無法像孩子一樣肆意地大呼小叫了?心裡的小情緒堆積得像山一樣高,直到溢出來。與其如此,不如永遠像孩子一樣。
——《龍貓》
 
成長以後,我們不能再像小孩一樣肆無忌憚地把自己的情緒表露出來,慢慢我們學會假裝沒事,但其實內心有著不同面向的負面情緒,久而久之,好像怎樣也快樂不起來。作者提出以下這個自我檢測,不如看看你是不是需要進一步找人聊聊了?
 
1.     覺得自己總是在人前強顏歡笑、戴著面具度日。
 
2.     不管休息再久,依然容易疲憊,對生活提不起勁。
 
3.     就算開心的事情發生,喜悅的感覺不會持續太久,便會立刻被疲憊、麻痺、無奈、焦慮等各種情緒取代。好像沒有什麼事情,令你由衷地、持續地開心很久。
 
4.     表面上你的生活忙碌充實,但大多都是提不起勁地勉強在做。
 
5.     總是懷疑人生,質疑自己的能力。經常反射性地自我批評,不管如何努力,你還是覺得自己不夠好。
 
6.     即使遇到成功經驗,也覺得只是自己幸運。認為自己沒有資格享受成功,更不該有滿足的感受。
 
7.     雖然偶爾還是會有幾天算是「正常」的好日子,但大部分的時候,都是糟糕透頂。
 
8.     當你向別人傾訴,卻沒有人能了解你的心情,於是「開口求助」成最困難的事情之一。
 
9.     總之就是快樂不起來,而你痛恨自己的不快樂。而且這種狀況維持了好久,久到你都不知道,自己到底忍耐多久了。
 

「怎麼這麼有趣?」好奇心是我最好的夥伴
 

—「失去好奇心的那一瞬間,人就死了。」
——日劇《女王的教室》
 
無論你正身處人生的哪一個階段,也要對周遭的事物保持一顆好奇心,以渴望求知的心去繼續探索,不斷尋找生活中有趣的事物,令每天都過得充實。世界很大,有很多事情都值得我們去了解更多,就抱著這個心態,以好奇心作伴,向未來大步前進吧!
 

▌#未來
 

—找到前進的勇氣,成為喜歡的大人吧!
 
看完這本書後,希望你更了解自己的內心世界,學會好好擁抱自己的情緒,肯定與接納自己,成為一個自己喜歡的大人。
 

帶這本書回家
 

《你在煩惱什麼呢?》
作者│李家雯(海蒂)
出版社│悅知文化
 
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