《不勉強自己,把日子過成喜歡的樣子》讓自己的人生只留下對的人
2021年9月10日
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《不勉強自己,把日子過成喜歡的樣子》讓自己的人生只留下對的人

Written 誠品香港

小時候,總是很喜歡跟朋友一起的時光,真誠相待,想笑就笑,想哭就哭,經常黏在一起,玩多久也不覺累。到現在,我們活在這個網絡世代,人與人的關係看似緊密,但其實大家都收起了自己真實的一面。試想一想,你花了多少心思和時間,去讓自己在別人的眼中看起來過得很好?在社交媒體上,我們都努力經營著,花很多時間去挑選相片、修圖,把最好最漂亮的一面展示出來。
 
我們都在努力偽裝成幸福的樣子,掩飾脆弱的一面,希望去證明自己的成功與幸福,在歡笑下埋藏著的是孤單和寂寞。關係流於表面,就算和親密的人也只可以分享快樂,但卻無法分擔憂傷。此書寫給在這些關係下感到疲憊的現代人,教我們學會守護自己的自尊心,如何在關係中不丟失自己,放掉那些不適合你的人和關係,尋找屬於你自己的人生。
 

—做著自己想做的事,或者,做著自己能做的事。只要你正在做其中一件,就表示你過得很好。
 

作者簡介:金秀顯
 
真摯但不嚴肅,開朗但不輕佻。
雖沒有專業繪畫基礎,但因為熱愛繪畫而選擇攻讀設計。
先是在文科與設計之中打轉,現在則是圖文作家,著有《我要做自己》。
 

仇人的基本設定值
 

—無論再怎麼費心想成為好人,也無法讓所有人都喜歡。
 
作者以看電影作為例子,一部你認為好看的電影,總有人會不喜歡甚至批評,相反,一部你認為沉悶無趣的電影,其他人可能看得樂在其中。同樣的道理,無論你多費心去成為一個好人,也無法令所有人都喜歡你。不要勉強自己,就算被討厭也不要太傷心,只專注在愛你的人就好,好好愛自己,也是對他們的最好回報。
 

忍受日常
 

—平凡的日子其實很耀眼,
世界要比想像中更溫暖,
善良的人也依然存在,
你確實把人生過得很棒。
 
想想看,現在的生活中有沒有哪一件事在你的眼中是理所當然,但在其他人眼中是花了心思和氣力才能做到的?回到家有一頓熱飯?可以安坐在舒適乾淨的家中?有時候,我們總是輕看了這些微不足道的事,其實光是「活著」,我們已經花上大量的努力。就算沒有甚麼成就,過著平凡的生活,那疲憊不堪的瞬間和力不從心的情緒,已經是我們為生活而努力的證明。請跟自己說一聲謝謝,你把生活過得很好。
 

將損失最小化的方法
 

—不要活在他人造成的傷口之中。
 
別讓自己的錯失毀掉了現在,犯下過錯時也許很難立即撫平情緒,但如果一直沈浸在過去錯失的教訓中,就只是在懲罰自己。在關係中亦然,別人對你造成了傷害,假如我們反覆地回想,走回那個受傷的位置,只會令加害者在我們人生中停留更久,是對自己的二次傷害。所以為了自己,我們可以把傷害最小化,好好走出傷口,你可以選擇不原諒,但請繼續往前走。
 

無禮 也需要減速帶
 

—為了避免自己變得有氣無力,為了彼此有尊嚴的人生,任何人都有守護自己的權利。
 
作者在這篇討論到如何看待說話無禮的人,她引用到《向精神暴力說不的方法》所提及的方法,面對無禮的人不一定要跟他變得一樣無禮,可以輕輕地,非常簡短地說一聲:「什麼?」去表達我們的詫異。面對無禮的人,你不用勉強自己繼續保持有禮貌,也不一定要大吵大鬧,但要鄭重地讓對方感受到我們是有情緒的,就算只是一個微細的反應,請盡管說出來吧!
 

帶這本書回家
 

《不勉強自己,把日子過成喜歡的樣子》
作者│金秀顯
出版社│時報出版
 
下載誠品人_HK APP 享用訂書服務 ► https://goo.gl/4H65Vx
【誠品人月讀一冊】探索世界.始於閱讀 ► https://bit.ly/3ouNwRY
 


走進閱讀世界,品味美好生活。讓人文、藝術、創意融入生活,創造更多元的文化體驗,注入生活情感溫度,共創城市的精彩!
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